Tuesday, February 26, 2013
As a youngster my apparel game was in the gutter. Second hand stores, Salvation Army... you get the picture. Not only was all the gear outdated but it was mad young too. I guess it's because Mom Dukes was a hippie, I don't know, but she loved corduroy. I used to look at her like, "I can't get jiggy wit dis shit," but that didn't stop her from trying to dress the kid like Alfalfa.
This older cat in my neighborhood had all the ill shit. Jordan's, Hugo Boss, Nautica - you name it he had it. He had the ill Gumby cut too, with the mean part and the 3 lines in the side. All the chicks used to dig him. I tried to get some advice from him one day at the park, but he called me Vanilla Ice and basically told me to kick rocks. Vanilla ice?! C'mon son, even back then I knew he was a complete herb. If being the goofy white kid that everyone called Opie was my destiny, I decided I wasn't going down without a fight. I thought maybe if I had a Gumby it would solve my problems, but I knew I'd just end up looking like Guile from Street Fighter. Both my younger brothers were counting on me. How could they respect me as the leader if I was a dweeb? I needed some guidance.
That guidance came in the form of Chris Mullin on a Saturday Morning watching "Inside Stuff" with Ahmad Rashad. Mully was that dude! Silky smooth. He was from NY just like me. My jumper was already butter, plus I had the homemade buzz cut too. The way I saw it I was at least half way there. I started saying "Mully" when I hit shots on kids at the park. Step back on the wing, before I'd even release it - "Mully!" Swish. Even in some wack ass Spaldings I was straight stylin' on 'em. I've always had game, and pretty soon the older dudes started picking me up when they were short a man. "Yo Mully you tryna run?"
After we finished playing one day this fly little honey dip, who was two grades ahead of me, asked if I'd walk her home. She said she'd buy me me a dollar icy, so naturally I accepted. My homies followed a block behind us the whole time but we ignored them. They were all salty because every one of them had tried to get at her already with no success. When we got to her building she gave me a kiss and told me she wanted to be my girlfriend. I just smiled and told her I'd think about it. Way before Macklemore made rocking thrift shop shit cool, I was a cold ass honkey. Thanks Mully. I'm out.